after a breakup, i think the key to getting over things is summed up by the phrase fake it til you make it. if you can fake that you’re completely fine and over things, you can fool the other person into getting over it too, which in turn will come back to help you. maybe this theory is not 100% foolproof, but it has been accurate before.
at school, i have a solid group of Sisters that have had a huge part of my burning passion for the Lord. we help each other, scold each other, and love each other (of course, messing up sometimes!). the friendships are something that are so dear to me and that are something also new to me. these deep, fulfilling, Christ-centered relationships are my friends at school.
at home, it’s different. i have a WONDERFUL group of friends that i feel comfortable with, can spend days at a time with, and ALWAYS have fun with. we have grown up together and been friends for such a long time. but these relationships are fun, solid, and simpler. our conversations are positive and not poisonous, but we don’t talk about God. i guess it just seems too serious to us or too deep or something. If we do talk about the Lord it’s in small doses and it’s “careful”. i love these women, but since i’ve had such glorifying fellowship with “school friends”, it makes me crave the depth that centering Christ can bring to a friendship.
so, i have my “school friends” and my “home friends”.
tonight, that bridge was crossed :)
deanna, whom has literally been my longest friend (1st grade) has been growing in her faith and is now absolutely on fire for the Lord. she attended a conference this past weekend and is leading a bible study in her sorority (a very difficult place to actively pursue Christ in). she, cindy, and i had the first conversation centered on God that i’ve had with them tonight and it just blessed me so much! i am absolutely grateful that our lives are intertwined on purpose and that the Lord will use us each to help each other grow in Him. our friendships have the ability to glorify Christ and fulfill an emptiness of shallow relationships! i will forever crave this satisfaction of the Lord in my relationships all around. i’m so thankful for what the Lord did tonight in opening that up for us.
so now, no more “school friends” or “home friends”- just Sisters in Christ
i want Christ’s love to be flowing through me so that i may be able to love others like Him.
today, i am a bit sad. i’ve been discouraged with friendships for a month or so, now. it’s tough because i don’t know when my discouragement is coming from a place of selfishness or just little hurts that have added up. sometimes, people just aren’t what you hoped they would be, especially in the roles of friends. not to say that they are bad people, for i am just as flawed and human as they. however, in this specific instance, i think that very small things have added up to my discouragement. other aspects of my life are being nurtured right now and i should be blessed by that. but because i invest a lot of myself in friendships, when they don’t meet the expectations i have for them, i have a very difficult time not dwelling on it. i sound like a dramatic whiner and i promise i don’t intend to be. but, i am just kind of down on this subject. i need to be more grateful for the blessings that God makes apparent in my life instead of moping on the things i am unhappy with. i only just need to focus on Him more and seek satisfaction ONLY from Him; for He is the only One who can truly provide my ultimate satisfaction. so, here’s to letting go of the discouraging stuff, and accepting that i am so grateful for my roommates, Christmas, my family, and CBU- all things that i absolutely adore. thank you Lord for these things! please force me to just abide by your love, Father
ISP is something that I have been looking forward to since team reveal last year when I was so jealous of everybody getting to go to these amazing places and be a Light in absolute darkness. Finally, last night was team reveal for this summer’s teams. I am so excited to be a part of this team with three of my best friends- Aubree, Sienna, and Glenn. I never expected they would be on my team, but the Lord obviously has a purpose for it. I seriously have no idea what to expect, but I’m excited nonetheless. We have so much adventure ahead of us. I pray that we are fulfilling God’s purpose all along the way and that everything we do is ultimately for His glory. I’M SO PUMPED.